Sweet Baby of Mine

William is two months this week! And I am just starting to feel like I can do this and I have everything under control. It takes longer than I thought it would. I was up at 3:00am with him a few nights ago wanting sleep so badly and trying to get him to latch properly to feed him when he broke out in this huge smile looking up at me. It occurred to me there will absolutely be a time when I will look back on these days as hard as they can be and wish I had them back. When his sweet little cheeks that puffed out while he yawned were still mine to kiss as much as I wanted. When a smile was such a huge joy and when out of all the people in the world he would only want to be held by me. I made a mental note to remember this the next time he didn't want to be put down and my arms ached.

He Looks Like Preston to Me Here

I suddenly felt very appreciative of my sweet parents. And thought in horror about how this is the reason teenage years are so hard for parents. Even good kids don't always like their parents. I dare say no one goes through teenage years without saying a mean thing to their parents. And I thought no wonder my Mom & Dad were so sad when I chose my friends over family time. When caring for this baby totally consumes my thoughts. If he's a little sweaty I worry he has a temperature. When he has a mild diaper rash I am so sad! I shower with the curtain open so I can watch the monitor during his nap, ready and willing to jump out soaking wet and run into the room if he needed me. I want so badly for him to always feel perfectly happy & healthy. I would take away any pain he ever felt gladly. He makes my husband and I better people for having cared for him. And he makes me love my husband more as I watch him take care of our baby. William is so innocent and perfect to me despite his infrequent naps and my strong desire to be able to get fully ready every day. It's the strongest love. One day he won't want me to kiss and hug him in front of his friends and I will think "but I spent hours a day showing you black and white photos so your sight would develop! I spent months barely stepping outside because you were born in the winter and I didn't want you to get chilled!" It's the only role where someone will throw up on you and you will worry more that they still have enough food in their tummy than the fact that you have throw up down your shirt. I pray a million more times a day.

"Dear Heavenly Father please bless William to sleep! At least two more hours. Please, please, please, please!"

"Dear Heavenly Father I've been working so hard to feed him enough PLEASE let his poop be the right color." <-(Not joking)

"Dear Heavenly Father I know William is a small babe but I hope he knows and feels how much he is loved."

Wide Awake at 4:00am

This month his hair is falling out so fast and I hope it grows back in quickly. I love his hair! On February 19th he rolled over. I've been calling it a "rock-over" because he mostly uses momentum to accomplish it. But he very consciously decides to do so and usually to get out of tummy time. He's getting so strong and a little bit chubby. And he smiles so much now it fills our house with happiness. His eyes are still blue like Preston's and I love them. He is starting to love baths instead of crying during them. And he no longer fusses at all with diaper changes. His first month he basically hated being naked. The only month in any man's life he hates to be naked haha. And now that we are past the "week six fussy peak" he is napping quite well. Fingers crossed this lasts a while! He still loves music and dancing around with me. Something I hope never goes away. And he is the only being who loves my singing voice :)

Avoiding Tummy Time

We are looking forward to the next month with him and as much as I am looking forward to certain developmental milestones I am a little sad he's getting big. Baby snuggles make all the hard work so worth it.

My Sweet Babe

Xoxo